The FIVE Minute Writing Lesson: Bad Words

As a teacher of Composition 101, I have attempted to take the lean approach to teaching writing.  What this means to me is that in my early years of teaching Composition 101, I made the mistake of reviewing the various parts of speech, drilling the various comma rules, and testing on active versus passive voices in writing.  Yes, as you are yawning right now, you can only imagine what my students were doing . . .  anything but improving their writing.  So, without a doubt, age and practice comes wisdom.  Thus, on the first day of class of the semester after skimming over the syllabus, the signing of a contract (to assure understanding of the syllabus), and the fondling of required texts, I ask students to retrieve a piece of "scratch" paper.  As if a grade school spelling exam, I have the students write the following words which I recite:

get

thing 

very

really

fun

big

good

kid

old

a contraction of his/her choosing

Then, I direct students to crumble up their papers and throw them in the trash can on their way out of class in the hopes they will eliminate these vocabulary choices from their formal writing with the exception of using kid to refer to a "baby goat" and old to refer to "dilapidated" or "geriatric," but not "former."

Thus, in my imagined utopia of specific, descriptive writing, a student would use . . .

I handed her the utensil.  

VERUS

I got her the utensil.

He is striking when he wears his black jacket.

VERUS

He is very striking when he wears his black jacket.

I need to call Erma, gather my research articles, and pick up Sam before tonight.

VERSUS

There are many things I need to do before tonight.

We enjoy swimming laps together.

VERSUS

We enjoy having fun together.

I ran into my former roommate at the mall.

VERSUS

I ran into my old roommate at the mall.

My friend's younger sister is competing this weekend.

VERSUS

My friend's kid sister is competing this weekend.

We read a suspenseful short story from an eco-horror anthology.

VERSUS

We read a good story.

I cannot make it to the meeting on time.

VERSUS

I can't make it to the meeting on time.

Learn More about Author Josh Thum

A film that brings tears to your eyes . . .
Dear John

 

Describe your first kiss.

I had my first kiss when I was in the seventh grade. There was a girl that I had a crush on and it was the day of my school picnic. I asked her if she wanted to get on the Ferris wheel with me, and as soon as we got to the stop I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. 

 

Your favorite children's book, and why . . .

My favorite book as a child was Five Little Monkeys. That was my favorite book because I used to always jump on the bed. My mom would come in and always yell at me that I am going to hurt myself. 

 

A cause that's closest to your heart, and why . . .

The cause that is closest to my heart would be the passing of a family friend. She has a littler girl who is my sister's age and a boy that is in eighth grade. The reason why this affects me the most is because her son looks up to me as a role model. He is going to the same high-school I went to and I give him all my old clothes that do not fit anymore.

 

If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be and why?

Bugs Bunny because he seems to always be in control no matter what comes his way. The bunny could figure his way out of anything, and outsmart any foe be it a two gun slinging Yosemite Sam, or a hot breathed tree chomping Tasmanian Devil.

 

Explain the worst job that you've held. 

One of my worst jobs was working a concession stand at a golf course. While preparing food was not the most exciting thing in the world to me, and I barely lasted a summer doing it.
 
A quote that motivates you . . .  
If you want to be the best,
Work harder than the rest.
If you don't want to be the best,
Just work like the rest.
 
Three Wishes . . .
I'd wish for wealth

I'd wish for happiness
I'd wish for a cure for cancer 

 

The title of that one song you would take with you on that deserted island. . .

Love Sosa

 

Favorite game you played as a child . . .

Uno
 
What would you like readers to take away from your writing?
I would like for readers to take away the main points that I try to talk about.

Eye Opener

Looking through the long list of places I have done community services at, the food pantry, the community that was hit by a tornado and the cemetery were the ones that had caught my attention. I knew that all those places were going to be a great choice but I did not think it could make such an impact in my life. Service has always been a large portion of my life, mainly because I went to a Catholic grade school and high school. Every Thanksgiving I went to a local food pantry. When I arrived at the food pantry, I started packing food and prepped them for delivery. When the Thanksgiving trays were ready, I would drive to houses to deliver them to families who could not afford a Thanksgiving meal.

I did a lot of service in order for me to graduate high school. For one of my service projects, the volleyball team and I went to the Kirkwood area to clean up houses after a tornado came sweeping through the town. Showing up to the tornado site was devastating to see. There were families that were crying and saying that they had nothing left of their houses except for the foundation of the house. My team and I spent about eight hours there throwing bricks, pieces of wood, and parts of the walls and roofs of the houses into giant dumpsters. One moment that impacted me was when an older man drove by and told me one of his houses was struck by the tornado. He said to me “Thanks for everything you guys are doing; it means a lot to me and also the rest of the community.”

           Another service I did was my class went to this cemetery that was in horrible condition. There were gravestones knocked over, grass up to my hips, and trees that had fallen onto graves. We spent all day cutting the grass and carrying tree limbs to be tossed through a shredder. Fox 2 news showed up to interview the owners of the cemetery and also some of the students who were helping to rehabilitate this cemetery. After we finished for the day, the school received a call from the owners of the cemetery. They wanted to tell our school how much it meant to them, how they received calls from the public saying “how much better it looks, ” and that they wanted us to come back next year.

           When I first heard that we had to do community service for McKendree, I was kind of hesitant. I did not want to wake up at 6:45 in the morning to do work. But when I woke up, I realized that this was for a good cause. The service I had to do was for an elementary school. We had to paint curbs that were damaged from rain and tear. Doing this service I did not receive as much of a personal experience, but it was an experience in a wider range. Not only did it affect me, but it also affected the community. I liked painting the curbs because I knew it was an object I can see with a physical change. I would rather do this type of service because I do landscape, and cutting grass is not as meaningful to me since I do it all the time. I am glad I had an opportunity to do this type of service. I really enjoyed it and it also made me closer to my classmates. Community service became not only a chore but was it was rewarding. It helped me understand that I do not have to do service just to receive feedback. 

By Josh Thum

I am volleyball player at McKendree University.  I enjoy playing golf in my free time. 

Learn More about Author Darion Simmons

A film that brings tears to your eyes . . .

Friday Night Lights
 

Describe your first kiss.

It was like any other kiss. I hate kissing though.
 

Your favorite children's book, and why . . .

I don't have one. I really hate reading.

 

A cause that's closest to your heart, and why . . .

Sports, I love being around them, in them. I LOVE SPORTS.

 

If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be and why?

I would want to be the hulk. Why because he is the best superhero.
 

Explain the worst job that you've held. 

Babysitting
 
A quote that motivates you . . .  
THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE HARDER YOU SURRENDER.
 
Three Wishes . . .
I would wish for more wishes. Then I would wish for good hair genes. Finally I would wish for all of my wishes to go away and live my life the way it was supposed to be.

 

Favorite game you played as a child . . .

dodgeball
 
What would you like readers to take away from your writing?
An experience to never forget where you came from.

A Day Stood Still

I remember this day as if it was yesterday. I was in the sixth grade, and it was a half of day of school. I did not go that day because I was feeling sick. My mom went to work, and I was home with my auntie. My auntie was not feeling well the day before and was acting weird. I remember her talking to herself and being dizzy. All the other children went to school, so it was just us two at the house. A day I thought was going to be any normal day turned out to change my life.  

I remember waking up at home and going to eat breakfast downstairs. Then my mom called and told me to go check on my auntie. I headed upstairs and knocked on the door with no response, so I went inside. As I walked into the room, I smelled an unpleasant odor. It smelled liked a piece of rotting meat over which someone had sprinkled a few drops of some cheap perfume. I went up to the bed and saw my auntie as white as a ghost. I pushed her a couple of times and called her name, but there was no response. At the time I did not know what was going on through my mind. I went to the phone and called my mom;  no one picked up, so I called the first number I could remember, which was the number of my aunt who lived around the corner. She picked up the phone and was wondering what I was doing home. “You’re supposed to be at school,” she said. I told her I was sick and then I told her that Grandma Pam was not waking up when I shook her. It was like I heard her breath stop through the phone. She said “Ok go start calling people, and I’ll be over.” I started to call as many family members as I could and told everybody that something was wrong with Grandma Pam. Everybody called Auntie Pam Grandma Pam because she had a lot of grandchildren. My auntie showed uo to the house and asked where Pam was. I told her in her room. She went upstairs and told me to stay down here and wait for the ambulance to arrive. As I waited downstairs, I could not shake the feeling that something bad happened. Some of my family members showed up before the ambulance did and went upstairs. I saw people coming back down the stairs crying. I really did not know why though, so the ambulance pulled up to the house and asked everybody to go outside. The whole family went outside and everybody was there except my mom and the other children who were at school. While everybody was trying to call my mom, the school bus arrived.  

The students on the bus had the perfect picture of our house. The ambulance was there, fire trucks, police, and the entire family. The other grandchildren were walking off the bus and started running up to the house asking everybody what was happening. The moment I saw all of the grandchildren start to cry was the moment I realized what was going on. I was so in shock, and I had never seen anything like this before except for in the movies. I remember everybody crying enough tears to form what seemed like a lake. The paramedic came back out and confirmed to everybody that she was dead. My mom (Pam’s sister) was the only one who did not know about Pam’s death. She was still at work, and nobody could reach her. Finally someone reached my mom and told her that her sister was dead;  my mom and Grandma Pam were close sisters who did a lot of activities together.

I remembered when my mom pulled up; all I could see on her face was sadness. She walked up to her brother and other sister and hugged them both. My mom was one of four children. She was the youngest daughter and the strongest out of the four. I saw my mom break down for the first time in my life. I did not know what to do but cry. No child likes seeing his/her mother in pain. My mom asked the paramedic if she could go upstairs to see her. Mom was up there for a long time; I was just wondering what she could have been doing. She came back outside and was still trying to tough the situation out because that is how my mother was, but she just could not do it. The fire department let everybody go up and see her, and then they started to take her outside where everybody was. When they came outside with Grandma Pam, it was like a tsunami had accrued. Tears were everywhere. 

As the day went on, more and more people could not believe that she was gone. I remember my mom telling her brother and sister that she kept having these nightmares about Pam. My mom went into a depressed mode. The house that Pam died in was one we had lived in for fifteen years. My mom was so depressed that we had to move. She could not stand the fact that we were living in the house where her sister had died. The day we moved was a sad day for me because I loved that house. We had so many good memories in that house and some bad ones. My mom was almost done paying off the house, but I think she had a year left to pay on it. We moved, and my mom was still depressed, so I decided to play sports to try to ease the pain some. It worked. My mom slowly was forgetting about the sadness in her life and reaching out for the goodness of her life. She was so happy that I was doing sports.  I then told myself that I would continue to do sports for my family and for my team. I have never done a sport for myself. Sports remind me of a time the day stood still for my family. That is why I will always continue to play sports till the day I die because I do not want to recall when the earth stopped spinning. 

By Darion Simmons

I am a Division II football player. 

Learn More about Author Austin McEwen

A film that brings tears to your eyes . . . 

Where the Red Fern Grows

Describe your first kiss.

My first kiss was more of a peck then a kiss so imagine a bird pecking at a tree.  

Your favorite children's book, and why . . .

... Harry Potter

A cause that's closest to your heart, and why . . .

Kids because they are just starting out and have no clue what a big scary world is really out there.

If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be and why?

Percy Jackson from the lighting thief because to be a demigod would be amazing to have all that power when you need to use the powers to keep people safe

Explain the worst job that you've held. 

McDonald's nastiest place on earth

A quote that motivates you . . .  
Get rich or die trying

The title of the one song you would take with you on that deserted island . . . 
Juice

Three Wishes

My first wish is money, second wish is to be a pro athlete and my third wish would be for more wishes.

Favorite game you played as a child . . .

baseball and hockey

What would you like readers to take away from your writing?
I want them to be able to put themselves in the reading

Reconstructing My Life

When one hears the word reconstruction, what does he or she think of? At first I thought of remodeling a house or fixing a building that has been damaged. When I heard my doctor tell me that I am having ACL reconstruction, I think my heart skipped a beat. Just wondering why this happened to me when I was at the top of both of my sports, baseball and hockey, was absolutely mind blowing. The doctor said I was going to have a rough nine months ahead of me. I had to wait till the doctor was free to schedule me for the surgery; then I had the whole rehabilitation process going to physical therapy four times a week, and then coming back to the two sports and relearning how to play them was probably the hardest part of it all.

I tore my ACL at the end of the hockey season of my junior year. Of course my dad and I being hard-heads, I tried playing through the pain. I ended up playing eight games on the torn ACL. I did not go to the doctor and had my knee checked out till the beginning of baseball season. The doctor did a bunch of tests on my knee and could not figure out why my knee was swollen like a water balloon. Finally he put my leg in a forty-five degree angle then pulled, and once again I found myself crying from all the pain that just hit me like running into a brick wall. He scheduled me for an MRI the next day and the results came back I had a torn ACL, bucket tear of the meniscus, torn mcl, and broken tibia. The doctor was booked from other surgeries all the way till April so I scheduled it the day after my prom so I could experience the best dance that I have been to in my life. The wait was a long month of watching my team play without me. The wait was not worth it; I was in so much pain after I did not want to walk again.

Two days after surgery, I had my first physical therapy ever. Barely walking and still afraid that I would blow out my knee again. I was then introduced to my physical therapist, Kelly; she was nice but she made sure that my shirt was drenched in sweat every time I left the building. I felt like I was at boot camp the whole time until I was introduced to my favorite machine, electric stem. This machine literally shocked me, but the shocking felt amazing. I laid on the table what felt like hours but was really only fifteen minutes. I started going four times a week dreading the workout that I was not used to but loving the electro stem at the end of every session. I started feeling no shock from the machine, as they would turn the machine all the way up as Kelly is wondering why I could not feel the shocking sensation. As my knee started to develop back to the amazing knee I had, I was able to do more and more moving. I worked all summer on rehabilitating my knee back to one hundred percent, finally able to start hitting baseballs again but not able to step on the ice yet.

The first time I stepped in the batting cage it looked as if I was lost. Before the knee injury I would step in the cage with no fear holding the bat as if I felt invincible; I felt as if the pitcher could not throw a pitch by me. I would step in the batter’s box, and I was able to hit the ball no matter where it was pitched. After rehabbing my knee, I found myself looking at strikes and swinging almost as if I was blind. Finally starting to have good contact on the ball I started to have my confidence back and I started becoming the former baseball player that I used to be. Now it was time to step back on the ice where I tore my ACL. Almost a year out, and I had no clue how the first skate would be. I took a few strides, and my knee was still holding strong. Scared to stop I felt like the person that played in the movie The Mighty Ducks that had all the speed in the world but could not stop to save his life. I had a long road ahead of me to become the player that took me years to be in the first place. With all the work that I have already put into my knee, I knew that it was only a matter of time until I was back. Long hours of training took me to where I am now playing hockey for McKendree University. My baseball career did not keep going, but my hockey career became  my life. I now had to focus on my future while I still had my childhood dream come true. I still had one of my sports while giving up the other for the education.

Finally coming back to the player that I was taught me that the only way to keep going was not to look back on the past but to look forward on the great achievements that will happen from hard work and the mindset that I was here for a reason. I had to reconstruct my whole life to become who I am now. The doctor had to reconstruct my knee, I had to go through the rehab, and finally figure out how to become someone that I was not anymore. With all the work that I have put in my knee, I learned that I will have to give one hundred percent from here on to keep my life going in the right direction.

By Austin McEwen 
I play hockey for McKendree, and I also love writing.